I'm Just Like Them!

I've had the experience of meeting in person people I'd admired from afar, and almost always my response has been, "Hey!  They're just like me!"  My experience last week was even better.  After meeting all the amazing people at TMC18 last week all I could think was,  "Hey!  I'm just like them!"

As I've put off writing down my reflections on the TMC experience, that conclusion has only been reinforced as I've read blog after blog after blog that seemed to be reading my mind. 

After returning to my room after game night, I did something pretty uncharacteristic of me -- I made a list of all the people over the past few days with whom I'd had a substantive conversation.  (It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows this group that this was pretty much anyone I spoke with.)  I was shocked when my count reached 50.  Fifty people!  In three days!  For this introverted guy!  Wow. 

I can point to a few things that made me super-comfortable very quickly:

• Sam's Facebook post talking about his own anxiety about remembering people's names. 
• Glenn's explicit permission for us to be by ourselves if that's what we needed, and his introvert joke.  (How can you tell if a mathematician is an extrovert?  They're looking at your shoes instead of their own.)
• Sam's introvert button.
• Everyone's aggressive openness, including meal invitations, and especially the open discussion of the "pac-man circle."  It made it easy to do something that I've never been comfortable with -- just joining a group that's standing around.  Wow again.

Other random thoughts:

The experience of reading other people's blogs where they shared their internal dialogue almost real-time was amazing.  It was kind of like reading a novel with an omniscient third-person narrator.  We all shared an experience, and then I could read about what other people were thinking -- always feeling a sense of camaraderie as I learned from each one.   

Seeing so many people be publicly vulnerable, especially those who I saw as stalwarts of the #MTBoS community was amazing, touching, inspirational and empowering.  

All of which was distilled in Julie's keynote.  I don't have the adjectives to fully describe the experience, but if you were there, you understand.  I'm thinking this could have been the most important hour for me in the past year.  Wow.

I really appreciated the structure of the conference.  It was really great to work with the same group for three days in the morning.  The My Favorites were really wonderful, and I really appreciated the wide range of things people spoke about.  I appreciated the decreasing lengths of sessions as the day went on and my energy waned.

Above all, I am grateful for the opportunity to have gotten to know so many amazing people.  Over the past year, I've watched as someone will occasionally tweet, "What a bad day I had!" and 20 people will tweet back encouragement.  I thought that was nice, but after having had the full TMC experience, I understand how meaningful that support really is.  I hope that I can add my voice to that crowd of support when needed (and maybe even draw on it from time to time.)

Thanks everyone for welcoming this first-timer.  It's an experience that I'll carry with me.